What Hurts the Most (Venting)

Watching - AFV
Songs in Mind - White Horse & What hurts the Most

The truth hurts. What else can I say? All I feel I have already thought to myself. So it's hard to send out my feelings. What's hurting me.

The currency will soon be only one for the whole world. I asked my sister why that is bad, and she said that in Apocalypse it says that will happen before Jesus returns. People actually believe it'll bring "world peace." I can't believe--no, actually, people don't believe in world peace, but they make themselves think they do. I just want to live life, and have money to actually enjoy it.

My life is horrible. I am not happy. I have no best friend, I don't even have any true friends where I live. I live in a land full of sin. New Orleans is a hideous, repelling city I live nearby. I have met some people here that I really like, who are believers and who aren't, but who I see deep inside is a person with a great heart. One of them is a girl who's family is deeply Catholic. Most people here are. She says she doesn't believe, and that she's not Catholic. She has step-parents, and the strict morals just make her not want to believe altogether. But she is a good person. I really like her. I barely talk to her but I barely talk to anybody at school.

Why am I here? Things won't change. But I can change a least one person's mind. How do I even know the Lord exists? It's just this feeling deep inside. It's the only reasonable explanation, that's what my father has said once, and I think of it a lot. I just know. And I want to reach out to others, but first to myself. I have so much to learn but no time at all. School is a waste of time. You don't learn anything useful there. It's just to make friends, which I haven't been doing a good job with.

Spring-a!

It's spring^_^! (Autumn in Brazil). What's there to say? It's almost 6pm and I'll be leaving with my sis to Marleigh's house to watch a random movie.

Today we played quiz bowl for the third time in advisory with Fernandez's class. We lost for the first time and Dillion as well as Theresa and Alexis were upset because of one question where they accepted the state when the city they said was incorrect. He was real upset, it made me a bit upset. Then I think he left early because we had shrimp po-boys for lunch and he's allergic to shrimp (so am I).

A little earlier my mom, sis and I walked over to the house we plan on renting. Our apartment is up for sale and so we started searching for a house and found a great one a street over. We went to the backyard which is small but better than no back yard. I'm excited to move there! Just nervous about the bus 'caus I don't get how that works but things will be fine.

Questions
1. Is the weather any different yet?
2. Anything fun happen at school?
3. What are you currently listening to?

A:
1. It's a cool breeze out but it's perfect. It'll probably will get warmer next week.
3. Clique Girlz (with Ariel).

Registration

Today was my appointment for DHS registration. Lots of people registered today, and I was surprised that it was at the XP Lab. It took about 20 minutes, so I got to miss 20 minutes of art class.

Right now I'm just watching Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed with my sister beside me doing her homework. I guess after this I'll be taking a shower, then listening to some music and finally going to sleep. How fun!:/

So yeah. Schedules go out in the mail this summer along with info like when to go to DHS to pick up our books. I'll share my schedule once I get it.

Ciao!

The In Crowd

(NOTE- My title never have to do with posts)

The music video just passed and it's stuck in my head. I like the song, it's nice. I just need to look at the lyrics to know for sure, though I'm sure they're good lyrics.

I have nothing to say except I can't believe it's Friday already! Just yesterday we were getting back to school and now it's March 6th. Time goes by but this week went by even faster.

Today in gym we got to learn a bit more about JROTC. I got a sweatshirt and decided I will take ROTC, but I'm not sure if I should do it instead of or as well as PE. I'll be registering Monday at 11:45AM. In ROTC you get lots of filed trips, and camp. Even if it is boot camp, I'd like to experience it. I haven't gone camping since 2005 and I really miss nature!

I was really happy--or should I say--my sister was super happy yesterday that Anoop got through on Idol. She was at Jonathan's house though, they meet every Thursday to do schoolwork. ABDC didn't really let me down either, though I don't like the show as much.

Looking forward to....I don't know. :)

Bagpipes

Well I'm watching iCarly, soon I'll be watching a show on WUPL (CW) called Masters of Illusion. Nothing interesting. I've been on the laptop all day, second time using it, no, third but the battery is already kinda low since I just used about 10 minutes ago. It's no my laptop and the wire is not the original so it doesn't charge while it's on.

Nothing interesting. Tomorrow I'll have to write three poems for school that's due Wednesday. It's been homework for two weeks. I can't seem to get inspiration on my free time for school work. It's hard.

I started a fan site yesterday and I got to adopt a domain and got accepted today. I hope to upload the files today and add a couple more. Then open the site and get a couple affiliates. I like making sites a lot, it's a great experience.

Welcome March!--Again!

I believe I said 'welcome March' last year. Wow, it's been so fast! It's 12:42AM, and I'll be going to sleep once the computer's battery runs out, which should be soon. My latest layout: http://whispered-dreams.info/designs/itsumademolayout3.png featuring Taylor Swift!

So I have nothing to say except I do not look forward to going back to school tomorrow. I have big plans on many layouts to make and to work on three new sites this week. I won't have much time though because of school. So I've tried to enjoy my time off and I've done quite an amount.

Now I must do my homework, which is write three poems, and I'm super scared about the S.S. fair project. I'll write a paper but i won't have a backboard since I have nothing to put on it. And it was due two weeks ago. Everything will be fine though. Rest well!

My Day

Today was quite interesting, and I will try and tell you about most of the interesting parts.lol What a horrible beginning!

Getting on the bus Mrs. Rose gave me a paper that Alexis wanted me to give Fernandez. It was the field trip permission slip, though I'm not in his class this semester and I'm not going. I gave it to him first thing, then went to Advisory.

So this morning during first period, Nicole had brought king cake and we each had a piece. It was really good, especially the chocolate! Then we went to Mrs. Simon's class and took chairs to watch a movie. We were all like, "So much for chairs," since the whole class had gone to the lab for what we had done yesterday, and all the desks were empty. But they got back quickly and we watched only some of the movie that takes place in 1950 and a man is working hard to get one bus for his kids at the African-American school. It's about segregation and I was interested.

Then we had to stop because of the time and we got DHS packets about the courses and such. Then we took our chairs back to Ms. Lewis' room and went to second. We were only there for five minutes with only two boys and not that many girls. Angelle gave us each one of those expesive sugar cookies. Then we were called to the cafe for the Black History Month program.

All the classes were split up I guess. I had to sit by a girl who was always moving and touching me, but I didn't mind too much. We all got fliers about the program while going in, Imani was one of the two handing them out. It was an amazing program, my favorite parts were the band performance (as usual), a guy who was talking about his painting "Road to the White House," and the woman who gave the inspirational speech.

One thing I love about Louisiana, it's alright to mention God at school.

So then we went to lunch and I was telling myself, "If I have nobody to sit by, I'm not eating," since Alexis was absent and we had to eat outside. Then I grabbed lunch and say by Jazzmen and her friends.

In third period all we did was jump over the bar. It was my first time and I never got it. I only got to do it three times though. So I was upset that I was the first one to get out. I missed the first one and I missed my second chance at the second height. Abbie Hugger was really good! And so was Kayla Rochel!

Then we had fourth period and we had to put the chairs on the desks, which is not something we do here, or in California. So I had forgotten how to do it and we actually tried to just put them up the way we put them on the floor! Then a while after on our way home, Anthony and this other girl were kind of fighting and Mrs. Rose pulled over and the woman who watches us called the school. Nobody came so she called again and we went back and left them both there. She was very angry, I actually pulled her back by the arm once when she was screaming and heading to the back of the bus towards Anthony. She's never really happy. It's kinda sad.

So I got home 16 minutes after the normal time. It was an experience.

Dadnapped

The first Disney movie premiere in 2009. I liked it! It went by pretty quick and there were parts like in any other movie, where you only understand the second time you watch it. Definitely a movie I'd like to buy in DVD in the future. I really liked the cast too. They did a great job! I had a couple laughs, so that made it even better because not every movie makes me laugh. So yeah. Good movie. I give it 2 1/2 stars, which I feel like is a really good rating. It'll probably be either one or two stars.

Hate

I hate my life. I hate my family nagging in my ears.
I hate not being able to see. I hate that I can see my white blood cells.
I hate that this worm got in my eye.
I hate that I cant do anything with my hair unless I get a relaxation.
I hate the kids I go to school with, except for Alexis who I can actually talk to,
and Alaina and Jamie who are kinda nice and I can sometimes chat with.
I hate that thing that I went through as a kid.
I hate that we don't have a single computer in this house without any problems.
I hate that computers get viruses.
I hate having nothing to do at house.
I hate having a house with only two rooms.
I hate not knowing where my home is.
I hate that I had/have to share a bed for over a year.
I hate that I feel like I have to sleep on the floor, on top of my comforter, and with it
folded so I won't be too cold.
I hate that I've been getting headaches everyday.
I hate that the days go by so fast.
I hate that I live here, where we only have a couple, horrible stores, but
even those are really far away. I hate that besides my memories,
nothing feels real. Except for my knowledge, I know it's real.
I hate that I'm so shy and am bad at starting conversations.
I hate that I don't have any real friends here.
I hate that I didn't/don't work hard to keep all my friendships.
I hate that I'm not a citizen of this country, after almost 7 years.
I am jealous of my family. I know some people may be jealous of me,
or think that I'm kinda cool or lucky, but I need my life to change.
I hate that Obama is making even more thousands of kids lose their
lives every day. I hate abortion with all my heart!!!
What happened when I was 4 and 5. I hate those memories.
I hate that humans are so cruel, making our lives so hard.
But what keeps me going is knowing that things will change.

Laughs

I don't know, I just laughed so there you go! I really don't know why I blog. I used to write in my journal so much that I even bought four other journals--but at different times of course. I only got to my second and still haven't completed it. I love to write, but since I started typing I do that a lot more often. I also don't really write in my journal anymore, though I love that I have them so I can read back. Ha, I used to write so horribly and my teacher praised me so. I thank her, my fave teach ever.

Today was nice. I think though that the first of each month are just not good days for me. Especially the first of October this year, but I'm not getting into that.

We began discussion on our i-search today. I've never done it before as this is the only year I've been in LA,.....and it feels like a different country. We have until the 18th to make 4 source cards, 50 note cards, and write an essay. Most our grade is on the research though, why it's called the I-search.

Today I found out the gym teacher every girl hates (my gym teacher) was born on the 14th of April. That's big....I was shocked. Although there is a lot of hate at this age group, but she's annoyed us all. She's 31. Also big. Wow I sound excited!:L

Long Timey No Seek

Wow. It's been....22 days! Times have been fun. On Wednesday we were in English class, last of the day, and we somehow started talking about if there were a fire how we'd jump out the window and Ms. Howard said she'd be last last to jump and we'd have to break her fall...then we started working again and the fire drill bell rang. Ironic.. Then when there was only 5 minutes left of class, some boy (forgot who) got on a computer and Ms. Howard was still working on our Progress Reports when bam! the power went out. Immediately everyone went out to look at the hallway and into it. We all laughed at one teacher's remark, "You are not allowed in the hallway when it's dark!"

It was quick fun because we then just went out to the buses, but it was fun. There was no bell and no announcements and the buses took a while longer to leave to make sure everyone got on because all after school programs were canceled.

Now the only things going on are:

School tomorrow & Tuesday

Thanksgiving break Wed. to Friday

Three weeks left to bring up my grades (C in S.S.; B in L.A.)

On a crisis (nopt really) to get ourselves a Mac already. Stupid viruses and spywares.

Listening to Taylor Swift since Sunday when I got her album "Fearless"

Welcome November!

That was the first thing I said today. I actually had a good day yesterday. I have to say the best part was 4th period which is Language Arts. Ms. Howard put these three skulls with tombstones on a table with silly names on them like the one I remember kinda like "B. A. Frade." They made noise when you walked by them.

The lights were also off all day except after announcements when we turned them on to see better. We played some trivia, ten questions we had to write the answer to on our whiteboards. We had a tie: Kyle, Zac, and I had one point and a had, until Curtis got two right at the end. It was fun because we didn't know the answers and Anthony was writing unrelated things (which is typical of him). So yeah, we were the only ones in the class, all five of us, which was nice.

We finished reading the story "The Monkey's Paw" which is about a monkey's paw that grants you three wishes, then becomes useless to you. It's and old English story, and I really enjoyed it. Ms. Howard gave a loud shriek at the end because I didn't since I read the parts of Mrs. White. It was a scary shriek that gave me goosebumps for a long time.

Good news:
We gain an hour tonight for about four months!!
Basketball tryouts finish off on Monday, so wish me luck on doing a better job and hopefully finding the watch I lost.

Questions:
- Are you listening and/or singing any Christmas songs yet?
- What are some of your favorite Christmas songs?
- What is your summary of your October this year?

My Summary
It started out rough, with a couple tears and really red eyes, then it got better and eventually to the point where I agree once more with the fact that it always gets better.